I am so lonely today although not literally. even when I watched spiderman 3 this evening, i still feel quite emotional, or better to say, lonely. the movie is good but it mad me sad because there's so much drama in it. And, it has a sad/emotional ending. I don't know. Maybe I'm just missing something or someone. I have a lot of things to do and I have to wake up early tomorrow for my ojt but still, I am here, talking to my blog, hoping to ease this loneliness. maybe i was just envious to those sweet couples in the cinema, enjoying the movie together. I just thought of her, our shared moments together and my what if's. i just hope that if there's spiderman 4 (which seems not likely to happen), i will be at the cinema, together with a lady to whom I will share that special moment. And we will gladly see the sad ending of the movie with a smile in our face, leaving the cinema hand in hand - even if it's her or whoever.

"pillars"

"diligence"

"solitude"

" long-distance relationship"

"heaven that I cannot reach"





"almost there"


"goal"

:p

"one day" by joka

Isang Araw (III)

Isang araw
Gumising silang ang bawat isa ang iniisip
Nanghihinayang sa nakaraan

Napansin nila
Ang magandang anyo ng umaga
Sa lasa ng kape, sa hedlayn sa dyaryo

Tiningnan nila ang orasan
At nag-isip maya’t-maya
Kung pagbibigyan ang nararamdaman

Magkasamang mababasa sa ulan
Magkasamang manananghalian
Magkasama, nagmamahalan

Buong maghapon
Paulit-ulit silang natigilan
Sa bawat pagsagi sa isip ng isang pangalan

Naalala ang bawat isa
Sa mga kanta sa radyo
Sa dagat, sa mga ulap, sa alab ng bawat puso

Hindi lumipas ang gabi
Hinanap at nagkausap
Nakahigang nagkwentuhan sa telepono

Natulog silang
Nananaginip at nangangarap
Na ang sigaw ng kanilang mga puso’y

sana…
masabi
na.

____

This is my first poem that is inspired by ******. Actually, this poem is also influenced by previous poems in SPIRES ( isang araw in SPIRES vol. 44 & 45). The poem describes what I exactly felt when I was writing it. It is definitely a reflection of my heart. :p

"end of the road"

Wishes
(a poem for Gladys)

I wish, I am a masochist
who can endure all the pain,
that is self inflicted,
and find pleasure through my wounds
so that I could not feel
this knife stabbed in my heart

I wish, I could withstand
this journey of my heart
to treat you as a friend,
to act like I do not care
to pretend-of not loving you
when in fact, I really do

I wish to the stars
in this sweet cold night,
to bring me to slumber
so that I could be in my dreamland,
in my heaven, with my angel,
gazing in the night sky
holding hands together
in eternity
unlocking the shackles
of this bitter reality.

I wish, to walk in your pilgrimage
to follow my dream, my desire
to follow my heart, my happiness - my life
even if enigmatic roads would daze me,
and the heat could bring me to oblivion,
I will not languish, will not succumb
‘cause there’s a hope in me
that at the end of this road,
you’re there…waiting for me…
for the time to love...the time to express
the words “I love you”

These wishes,
maybe too whimsical,
denude my heart
of its beats in lunacy;
give me the strength
to finish this journey
and lead me
to the end of the road,
to the finish line-your heart,
to the happily ever after
of our fairy tale -
our love story.


:P

" beside you"

Dream

I wll close my eyes
so that I could see you
in the world of the unconscious -
the land of our hearts' desire

I will hug my pillows tight
so that I could embrace you
throughout the night
and let you feel
the fire burning
in my heart

I will whisper to the cold air
the words that my lips
couldn't say
and the feeling that I
couldn't express
hoping that it will reach you
when the wind blows
and touches your ears
and then your heart

And, as I close my eyes to sleep
I will continue to dream
until that special day
that I would sleep and wake up
beside you
and love you
for all the days of my life

(12.10.06 05:00 am)

Ginawa ko 'tong poem na ito nung hindi ako makatulog..pagkatapos kong gawin..bigla akong nakatulog :p theme: "ikaw ang iniisip ko bago matulog." :p ...obvious naman yung meaning nung poem :p hmm...para kanino kaya ito..hehe

"this is me"

I Am Not For You

I am trying hard
to be the best
of what I am
of what I can become

but if

I am not enough
for your eyes
for your taste
for you.

I cannot do
what I cannot.

I can't fly
I cannot buy
all the
things you want

or be the

man of your dreams -
your superman
or be your prince charming

but I can

be a friend
that's always with you
a partner
in this life's journey
a lover
that will always love you.

but still
i am not for you

like a gift
you like to receive
or a clay
in your hands

I am me.
for you
as much
as I can be.

I hope that's enough.

(1.23.07 19:38)

ginawa ko ito nang di sinasadaya. welcome message sana ito e kaso naging ganito..hehe. hope you like it. theme: sana matanggap niyo ako kung sino ako :p It's a poem about accepting - slash - loving me for who I am and what I can do. :p

UMAGA
+haha :p ako ay ako. sana matanggap niyo. naisip ko lang mag.blog. wala magawa eh tsaka malungkot kasi buhay ko :p jowk!!! yun..kaya sorry sa mga wrong spelling at grammar sa blog. alam kong hindi ako magaling magsulat at trying hard lang :p kaya pasensya :p yun. sana mag.enjoy kayo sa blog ko. :p haha. +umaga ang title kasi it's a beginning of something good, just like the rising sun. :p aw.hehe